We began the finale with flashbacks of a seemingly easier life at the prison. Carl opens the gate to let in Glenn, Maggie sporting full body armor (remember that), and Rick. They're all greeted by everyone's favorite Santa, Hershel!
We've missed you old man! *tear*
The scene cuts back to a blood soaked, slightly quivering Rick staring into space.
Looking like a European Jesus
*cue the opening credits* Man am I going to miss that intro every Sunday.
We're back to a present day Rick, Michonne, and Carl sitting around a fire comparing their levels of hunger. (I mean how else would you pass the time during the end of the world?) As they leave that area, on their quest to Terminus, Carl asks if whether they should tell the new camp about all of the things they've done.
I'm sitting thinking, "Dude! Have you ever heard of 'don't ask don't tell?'"
The crew arrives at an animal trap. Oooh they snagged a bunny!
Good thing Lizzie wasn't around! (R.I.P. btw)
As Rick explains to Carl how a slipknot works we hear a man's voice yelling, "HELP!"
And like the Carl from the good old days, he just couldn't stay in the damn house. Or in this case, he couldn't stay in the damn trap.
Carl leaves Rick and Michonne to find a man trying to ward off a small hoard of walkers with a stick. Carl attempts to shoot, but Rick pulls him back before he could fire. "We can't help him," He says as Carl looks into the group of walkers eating away at the man's face.
Now, I'm not sure how I would react to a group of zombies attempting to eat me. But I'm almost certain that I wouldn't be yelling "HELP!" or "get away from me!" while wielding a stick when I have the ability to escape. Rick was damn right. That man clearly wanted to die, lol. Wasn't anything they could do to save his stick wielding ass.
*Another quick flashback to the prison... Hershel mention's Glenn's watch. Remember that...*
The crew escapes, but not before the small pack of walkers notices them and follows them out of the woods onto the railroad. Of course we're treated to a few of Michonne's samurai skills and then they're off!
They come across an abandoned car and agree to set up shop for the evening before completing their trek to Terminus.
Night falls and we spot a sleeping Carl inside of the SUV as Michonne and Rick keeps watch around a small fire. They reflect on how they've never really stopped to rest since the tragedy at the prison and whether Terminus is a place they need or want to be. All seems well until....
A sound of what seems to be a tree branch and leaves cracking under the footsteps of a person. Michonne and Rick turn around simultaneously to see who or what made the noise. Rick stands up to assess their surroundings. Nothing in sight. So he sits back down and they continue weighing the pros and cons of joining Terminus.
Before Rick could finish talking... There's a sound of a gun cocking and a barrel against his head. Oh shit! It's Joe! Just as Michonne reaches for her sword, one of his minions kicks it out of her grip and points his gun in her direction.
"You screwed up asshole."
Another couple of armed minions scurry out of the dark and the camera pans to the rest of the group surrounding Rick, Michonne, and a sleeping Carl.
Thank GAWD for the commercial break because I almost forgot to breathe!
In keeping with New Year's Eve, Joe counts down from 10 before ending the Rick we know and love. He gets to 9 and we see a knockoff Otis creeping in Carl's window.
"8 Mississippi..." and emerging out of the shadows is Dirty Daryl!
"Hol' up! They're good people."
"I think Lou would disagree with that... Your friend here strangled him in a bathroom..."
"Ya want blood. I get it. Take it from me."
"This man killed our friend. You say he's good people. Now that right there is a lie... Teach him fellas. Teach him all the way."
And Dirty Daryl gets his ass beat.
Meanwhile knockoff Otis gets into the car and drags Carl out of the car with a knife to his neck.
Let me tell you I felt Rick's angst. Shit, I stood up while watching and thought to myself. "Get the fuck off of him!"
Rick tried but was forced back down by Joe's gun.
I almost couldn't watch the scene with knockoff Otis attempting to rape Carl. I felt so uncomfortable. I wanted to jump through the screen and knock some heads off!
"Let him go... Let him go." Then BAM! Head butt! As Joe falls back he fires his gun right in Rick's ear. Remember the scene in the tank during season 1? Yeah...
Rick stands up and hits Joe with a haymaker. And Joe knocks him back down. Looks like the last fight scene between Rick and the Governor all over again.
Team Prison are all getting their asses kicked....
Rick stands up and holds on to Joe.
"The hell are you gonna do sport?"
Yo! Forget full Shane. Rick went full walker!
He bit right into Joe's neck and ripped out his jugular!
All of the minions paused in disbelief.
We all know how Michonne has the sort of precision to seize the perfect opportunity. She ripped the gun from one of the minion's hands and shot him in the th'oat. Not throat, but TH'OAT! She fired away while Daryl turns the tables on his attackers.
Michonne turned the gun to Knockoff Otis and he's all "I'll kill em!"
Rick's pretty much like "Naw Michonne. I got this!" Walked over to Knockoff Otis and gutted the fat shit.
*Another flashback to Hershel giving Rick a speech about how Carl needs to be normalized.*
The next morning, we're treated to a bloody, quivering Rick as Michonne tends to Carl in the car. (Such a better mother than Lori).
Rick and Daryl discussed where they've been since leaving the prison and replayed the events from the night before. Then they're all like:
Mid-day trekking through the backwoods in ATL and we've arrived to Terminus. To play it safe they scout out the place for any threats. Rick suggests everyone spread out and that he and Carl pair off. Carl's like, "Nah dawg. I'm good. I just saw you feast on that creep's neck. God forbid I don't get back in the damn house... I'll go with Michonne instead."
Carl. I don't blame you one bit. LOL. I did feel kind of bad for Rick though.
Michonne shares with Carl how she acquired her first set of pet walkers. Moral of her story? We're all fucked up, so stick with your Daddy or get lost.
Rick buries a bag of ammo outside of the fence... Ya know.... Just in case. And we're off to Terminus! Through the back way. Because that's just how Rick do lol.
They walk into a factory setting and find a golden girl recanting the infamous line "Those who arrive survive."
There goes a cute white guy. His name's Gareth. He's accompanied by a group of non-standoffish men and women. Another cute curly haired white guy welcomes them and pats them down to ensure they're not there to harm. Get this! They even gave them back their guns. Terminus must be a sanctuary for all!
Gareth leads them to the barbecue pit manned by the Devil.... Iiiiii mean Mary. Gareth instructs her to fix them a plate.
Michonne asks, "Why do you let people in?"
"When people become a part of us. We become stronger." Heh, go figure!
Meanwhile Rick assesses the place. Something doesn't seem right. The camera pans to an orange bookbag. Riot gear. Poncho.... Pocket watch. OH HELL NAW!!! That's Santa's watch!
Rick goes Rick James on the "Termin-ites" and smacks that plate down a la "Fuck yo couch."
Fuck yo food!
Then Rick's goes, "I'll be taking that. Thanks. Now you tell me where you got it."
*Yet another flashback of the prison. There's GREG!!!
I don't call him Patrick. He will forever be Greg from "Everybody Hate's Chris" in my book.
Greg is playing with Legos like the arrested developed man child that he is. He declares to Rick that he's not ashamed. Rick replies, "You should be."
Rick walks over to Carl reassembling a gun and asks him to come with him, but leave the gun behind.
I'm sure Rick was thinking, "Hershel may be right about needing to normalize Carl, but ain't no way in hell I'm gonna watch my son turn into a punk ass like Greg." Ay, I feel you Rick!
BACK TO TERMINUS
Guns are drawn and the running gun battle begins.
These snipers have worse aim than Tyreese. My goodness!
Rick and the crew are ducking bullets while looking for a way out. During their escape they pass by a gate housing human remains. The Hunters!
Those bones were clean. Now I know how people in the south get down when it comes to cleaning chicken bones. But you could tell those people were boiled. Eh, I think I know where the other Greene is now. Beth Burgers anyone?
They run into a room full of candles, virgin mary statues, flowers, and names written on the floor.
Did they just bust in on an apocalyptic séance? No need to conjure the dead. They're already alive.
Team Prison tries to leave through one of the other doors in the room. Before they could get through, the door is slammed shut. They find another door and are able to leave the room. They're now back outside... Lo and behold. Back to square one.
Something tells me these snipers' bad aim were intentionally. They weren't trying to kill them...yet. They were leading them.
"Drop you weapons and walk to the train car!" When Rick walks up to the steps there are used boxes of powdered milk and Styrofoam bowls.
Remnants of Judith, maybe?
One by one, the leader, "Ma SON!", archer, and samurai step into the train car.
Out of the shadow steps Glaggie, Bobsha (I don't know why I'm so tickled when I see him. LOL), pathetic Tara, Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene.
Well what do you know. They're not dead after all! Don't you know Maggie STILL didn't mention Beth?
One last flashback to better times at the farm.
Then present day Rick say's, "They're gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out."
"Find out what?"
"They're fuckin with the wrong people." That's was the unedited version.
AND.... FIN!
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