Teen Mom 2... Season 5 already?

Well, it's Kail's birthday and.... she doesn't look too happy about it. Oh who am I kidding? She never looks happy. She gloats to her hairstylist/mail order friend (yall know how MTV does) about how she was the bigger person to make amends with Jo and Vee. She claims she loves Vee (o.O) "No like I really do!" I get it. She's cool. No need to lay it on thick.

Soon Javi arrives and forgets to bring Lincoln. Where did he leave him?? Anyway Kail emasculates Javi by basically telling him he isn't shit, tells him there was no reason to come here if he wasn't bringing Lincoln, and berates him some more. Javi gives us that same nervous chuckle and smile that many abuse victims may give in the moment of embarrassment and scurries out of the door while Kail admired her mane in the mirror.

**I can't remember who goes next but I'll proceed with Chelsea**

Being the damsel in constant distress that she is, Daddy must be the logical thinker for her and do what any other concerned parent with half a brain would do if they suspected illegal activity. Just go to the clerk of courts. Geez. But I have to keep in mind that Chels is a special one. So she needs a little extra guidance from "Papa". Don't you love how Randy-licious and Chels conveniently spills the tea all in the presence of Aubree? Yes, it may be all truth. But stop being so messy for crying out loud!
Aubree is being a brat as usual.

Cut to the scene of A-dum-uhhhh's receding Mohawk. (Like how old is this guy, really??) I refuse to believe they attended high school together. Whoever the mail order friend was eating lunch with him an Paisley (Paislee, Paysleigh, Paaiizzley, Pasties however you spell it) gave him pretty sound advice about being there for his children. Oh and his newest baby mama just left him. Something about he didn't do nothing. Go figure!

Ah next up is Barbie and Jenelle. I'm beginning to think she just can't say no to parents who refuse to take care of their children. In fact I am convinced that the new little boy that we always see at her house is her new adopted son. A Barbie's work is never done!

Jenelle dishes about how miserable life is because the man who knocked her up is in jail, she has to maintain her own house while her mother takes care of her child, she's taking a couple of online classes, and she's bored. Such a hard life!

Barbie pretty much tells her to suck it up because multitasking is the name of the game called life. And I know deep down Jenelle fought back the urge to yell "Shut the fuck UUUUUPPPP!" Or maybe she did, but MTV left it on the cutting room floor.

Later Jenelle takes Jace to her home... alone! I was actually nervous for him because I figured she'd spazz on the poor child and try to blame it on Nathan's jail time and her pregnancy. For Jace's sake that was not the case. The dogs on the other hand weren't so lucky. In a nutshell, she hates her dogs and will not clean the garage. Hmmph that'll teach them!

Oh! Let's not forget Nathan's prison call back home. He's living the life of a king. Couple TV's and a shower with (get this!) CURTAINS!

*SIIIGGGHHH*

Leah, Leah, Leah. I can't with this girl! On a trip to the ice cream shop she gushes to her mail order friend that she is selling Mary Kay to make money. I chuckle thinking, "Yeah, lets see how that works out." My mouth dropped in horror when she shared that spent $1800 on a kit. You should've seen her mail order friend "GIIIIRRRLLL BYE!" look. By the way, what happened to her tanning salon job? Leah admits that she has a spending problem. Uh ya think??

Oh and I'm so glad she ditched the yucky ratty hair and blush that made her look like she had the worst case of rosacea.

Cut to scene where we're in the car with Jeremy and Leah are en route to buy a new dryer. They find one that will do and she goes to pay with their credit card.

DECLINED!

Leah calls to see if the bank could raise their limit. I never caught whether they were actually able to purchase.

But watch the clip here

http://www.wetpaint.com/teen-mom-2/video/2014-08-06-leah-messer-credit-card-declined-sneak-peek#ooid=p2c3BnbzoYgQH42_qa-jgW3plgGSibdF

And then this happened...

http://on.mtv.com/1tvKPyT


lol if all else fails screech about needing to go to counseling and being controlled by a husband who has concerns about your self admitted "spending problem". Why is she spending thousands on Mary kay when she claims they don't have enough money to pay for one of the A-twins motor scooter? Leah has no priorities whatsoever.

And that's the end of this review. This bunch (Leah specifically) is going to cause me to have an aneurysm trying to make sense of the nonsense.

Until next time!